


Where The Heart Goes, We Just Follow

by NekoSama09



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, Child Neglect, Depression, Fukuroudani Family, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kageyama Tobio-centric, Karasuno Family, Konoha Akinori Is A Good Senpai, POV Kageyama Tobio, Past Character Death, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Sad Konoha Akinori, Save them, Saving Two Sad Children, Suicide Attempt, They need a hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-09 01:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27436864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NekoSama09/pseuds/NekoSama09
Summary: Kageyama decided that today was the best time to end his life. However, once he stepped foot on that bride, things changed. Meeting Fukuroudani member, Konoha Akinori, made him choose to trust his teammates with his life.But can both Karasuno and Fukuroudani members find them before it's too late?
Relationships: Fukuroudani Volleyball Club & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio & Karasuno Volleyball Club, Kageyama Tobio & Konoha Akinori, Konoha Akinori & Fukuroudani Volleyball Club
Comments: 17
Kudos: 221





	1. Hello? Can You Save Me?

**Author's Note:**

> I realize something funny, most of my stories have Kageyama angst in it. I don't know why, but hurting my favorite character is some weird kink of mine.

Kageyama Tobio has been a lonely boy since young. He grew up with only having his grandfather and sister by his side. Both parents were hardworking people and never spent time with him. Then there were kids from his school; all thought he was weird and never bothered to include him in any games. As he grew, the child played volleyball with his sister, as their grandfather coached his volleyball team. However, she stopped and left him. Then his teammates at Kitagawa Daiichi began to shun him; it didn't bother him much since he still had his grandfather. But even his grandfather, the man who stood by his side since birth, left him alone.

Being secluded during his childhood, Tobio developed the fear of being abandoned.

However, he couldn't say anything about his fear. About this growing anxiety that claws at his skin every day. He can't speak to his trusty Captain about his nightmares that kept him up at night. He can't talk to his understanding Vice-Captain about his fear of letting people in his heart. He can't speak to his caring teammates about the thin scars he made on his thighs. He can't talk to the adults about not wanting to take better care of himself at home. He can't speak to his fellow first-years about feeling like he's a failure. And he certainly can't talk to his best friend about his suicide plans.

He's in so much pain, and he can't make it stop.

It's like a dark void overflowing inside his heart, growing an inch every day. And it floods during fights with Hinata or Tsukishima. He was perishing in regret, yet he couldn't apologize even if that's all he wanted to do. His heart withers as each day ends, and he is left to go home alone. But no one would be back to give him warmth.

He doesn't want to feel like this anymore.

Hell, even volleyball didn't give him joy as it used to. In all honesty, this determined depression was eradicating any happy emotion he once had. And the longer he dwells, the longer that pessimistic feeling trudges him farther into the void.

Each time he takes medications to wash away any unpleasant feeling, pills to keep him standing, pills to help him sleep, and kills him inside. Yet, each time he's in front of the bathroom mirror, he takes those bottles with shaky hands and shallow to many pills to count.

But none of his attempts are enough. None of his best tries are sufficient for the world.

So he decided that he could stop trying. He can stop trying to make friends; he can stop trying to let people in his heart; he's going to give up on everything. After all, no one is going to miss such a pathetic and lonesome boy. Not his parents who rarely call him, and when they do, it's to explain that they won't be home. Not his sister, who finally has her own family. Not Oikawa or Iwaizumi, who thought of him as a bothersome first-year. Not Kindaichi or Kunimi, who always loathed him. Not his team who could fly without him. Nope, no one needed him in this life. Kageyama Tobio was just a burden that needed to be thrown away.

So that's what he's going to do.

Since the beginning of this year, he has been planning his death, and today was the perfect time to set his plans into motion.

February 2nd, on a wintry night, Tobio chose to jump to his death.

The chilly breeze numbs his face and fingers; the night was deprived of any light. Not even the moon coaxes its silvery glow. None dares awake from their slumber, heist the quietness that greets Tobio. The young Setter walks along the sidewalk, heading to the unpopulated area in Miyagi, where his final breath shall be. Not many pass the small bridge here, which connects to Tokyo. Tobio is sure that not many know of this bridge's whereabouts. So this is a perfect resting place.

And what's unique about this bridge was the height. Beneath him was a 30-foot drop; none dare to cross it.

Yet, here he is. Clamping his pair of feet on top of it's creaking wood. The area echoes and groans, but that didn't faze the young boy. Not at all; instead, he strides along the bridge. Reaching for the rail, the young Setter hoists himself until he had his body on the other side.

But he didn't stop there; Tobio notices a ladder that adjoins to the side, leading to the highest rail on top. The upper bridge rail was shaped as a curved, so he could easily fall if he stood up there. And he climbs it anyway.

The breeze was more robust as he reached the top, not that he minded. It cradles his cheeks and rustles his hair. Tobio's body sways from the gentle push, but it was soothing to him.

And finally, the hard work was done. Tobio made it to his destination. At the very top, he admires the many lights shining on Miyagi; it was glamorous to watch from such a high place.

" It's beautiful, right?" The unexpected voice made Tobio jolts to the side. He wasn't expecting anyone to hang around here. Honestly, why would anyone want to be this high up? Unless they also came here to die.

The Setter tilts his head; deep blue eyes roam the male beside him. He starts with thin yet muscular legs, upward to slender hips, then to the familiar face with narrow eyes. That neat, dirty-blond hair sways through the wind, and thin lips curl into a smile. The person in front of him was familiar; the white jacket says it all. He just can't remember his name.

" Looks like you don't remember me," the boy chuckles.

" I do, you're from Fukurodani, Umm, you're that third-year Wing Spiker," Tobio proudly states.

The boys laugh," that's me; the name is Konoha Akinori. It's nice to meet you, Kageyama-kun; officially."

Tobio bows awkwardly; ” umm, you too?"

Konoha laughed again, and the younger boy couldn't comprehend how whatever he said was funny. He only greeted the other, not telling a joke.

" So, what are you here for?" Konoha then asks.

But Tobio only shrugs," why do I have to tell you?"

The older boy continued to smile," I guess I need to figure it out on my own."

And Tobio tilts his head, watching Konoha as he places his hand to his chin. The elder began to think while kicking his feet. The wood sways with every swinging movement, jerking the two boys along with it. Yet, none showed fear as the rail nudges forward ever-so-slightly with their bodies skidding closer to their deaths.

" You are tired," he says while Tobio flinches," You're tired of feeling forgotten and feeling like every attempt is worthless. You feel like you're drowning with many regrets and feel lost because you can't fix them. Feel stupid and useless because you can't do what other people could, and hurt that no one will miss you when you leave. You're just an outsider in your team, watching from a distance, watch as they laugh while you struggle to fit in. But now you're tired of every failing attempt and decided to give up. Because that's the most easiest option, you can do it effortlessly."

Konoha smirks as Tobio eyes widen. Because he guesses everything right, and that was just weird.

" How did you know?"

He shrugs," because that's how I feel too. I feel tired every day, and giving up is the most incredible mercy."

Tobio looks away from the other because it felt like Konoha could see through him. As if he could see Tobio’s heart.

“ But, hey, do you even want to go through this without knowing?” Konoha continues to speak, causing Tobio to glance up at him again. 

The younger boy inclines his head, “ What do you mean?”

At this, Konoha closes his eyes, reflecting, and reminiscing. As if he could see through the memories that brought him to this point. As if there was something left in this world for only them to have. Konoha grins, ” Want to play a game?”

” A game?”

Konoha nods, ” We both are skipping practice, and our team is probably wondering where we are. So let's call our team, just to say one last farewell. However, before we do, why don't we let them try to find us. Try to save us before it's too late. To see if they do care, to see if anyone would bother. So what about it?”

”...” Tobio stays quiet, to decipher what the Fukurodani player just suggested to him.

Because Tobio planned to die without anyone else noticing, without anyone to stop him, but a small part of him wanted to see.

Tobio wanted to see if Karasuno cared.

So he nods, ” Alright.”

And Konoha nods as well before fumbling his phone from his pocket. Flipping it open, the boy quickly dials a number and lets it call. Both waited until someone finally picked up, ” Konoha!? Where are you!?”

The voice from the call was loud enough to make Tobio wince, but it seems that Konoha was unfazed by this.

” Hey, Bokuto, can you put me on speaker? I want everyone to hear this.”

“ Huh? Oh, alright!” Bokuto spoke, “ Hey, guys! Konoha wants to tell us something!”

Both waits as the sound of tired people complain before Bokuto says that everyone was present. And Konoha, who suggested this in the first place, seems nervous. Not that Tobio could blame him.

With a long pause, Konoha was brave enough to speak, ” I bet all of you are wondering why I'm missing. Well, it's because I'm playing a game.”

Konoha heard mutters of confused people on the line until Akaashi spoke first, ” What do you mean playing a game?”

Looking over at the Setter, Konoha smiles sadly, ” It's a dangerous game, and I want to apologize in advance to Komi and Sarukui for breaking my promise.”

Another long pause before Komi’s booming voice drowns the others, ” No! Konoha, you didn't!”

” Hey, I thought we would talk about this!?” Sarukui shouts along.

” W-What’s going on?” Bokuto speaks up.

And Konoha closes his tired eyes; he's trembling and had to bite onto his lower lip to stop himself from asking for help. Tobio watches from the side, the feeling of symphony and pain present. He knew that it took all of Konoha’s willpower not to break down. He then took a deep breath to calm down, ” All I ask is for you to find me before it's too late. Well, good luck and goodbye.”

” Wait, Kono-” Bokuto's voice was cut off because Konoha ended the call.

And Tobio's heart raced within his chest because he knew it was his turn now. Konoha pats him on the back, in a way to tell Tobio to take his time. Taking a deep breath, Tobio flips his phone open and dials his best friend’s number, and waited for the other to pick up.

“ Hello! Kageyama, where are you? Daichi and Ukai are so mad that you are not here!” Hinata exclaims, while other voices muffled in the background.

“ Where do I begin?” Tobio spoke as he tried to ignore the burning anxiety within his chest.


	2. Let's find them

" Where do I begin?"

Tobio didn't know how Konoha could speak so clearly to his friends when he could barely say a word. Hinata being a saint, waited patiently for Tobio, catching on to his uneasiness. And taking a deep breath, Tobio spoke, "Can you get everyone to gather up? I want to speak to all of you?"

"Huh? Oh, sure thing." Hinata says dumbfoundedly before shouting on the other line. Tobio was slightly shaking, and Konoha did whatever he can to ease the burning anxiety. The two could soon hear grumbles and worried questions from the line, wanting to know where Tobio had gone off to. 

Tobio and Konoha waited for Karasuno to calm down before Hinata shouts at the phone, "We are all here!"

And taking a deep breath, Tobio calms his aching heart. He wasn't ready for this game; he was not prepared to hear his teammates brush him off, calling him annoying. He was not prepared to face reality where his team didn't care for him as a friend. He was so terrified to hear Tsukishima say that he was dumb for killing himself for something stupid. He was so not ready to listen to the disappointment in the third-year voices as they lecture him for his stupidity. He was so terrified to be called dramatic by Nishinoya and Tanaka. He was so fucking afraid to hear Hinata telling him that it would be alright if he died. Because how can anyone deal with someone like him. Kindaichi and Kunimi couldn't, that's why they left him.

"I'm playing a game," He starts, and he heard Tsukishima grumbles in annoyance. It caused so much pain for him to hear Tsukishima muttering that this was a waste of his time. It hurts him so much that Daichi sighs, and Sugawara goes to lecture him about being late. It hurt him so much that tears began to sting his eyes, and his lips parts to let out a shaky huff.

At the sound, Hinata shouts at everyone to shut up, "Kageyama? Are you alright?"

"Maybe, "He tries to stay calm, but his voice began to turn shaky. And it seems that made everyone serious again, and Sugawara was the one to speak, "What's happening? Are you alright? Are you safe? You can talk to us, you know."

Shouts of confirmation were sent after Sugawara's speech, and Tobio smiles despite himself. Because he knew they were kind people, but Tobio still believes that maybe none of them thoroughly liked him. Tobio keeps telling himself that none of them will care for him once he goes.

"It's a dangerous game, " He ignores the others, "And I'm not safe. It's a game of hiding seek, and if you lose, then I'll disappear forever."

"Kageyama! What's happening!?" Hinata hollers as other voices began to rise in panic. Daichi was trying to maintain order, but Tobio could tell that he, too, was worried. But he didn't let any of them speak and ended the call.

He then turned to face Konoha, “ By the way, what are you doing in Miyagi?”

The blond blinks in surprise, letting the question sink in before he laughs like a madman. The poor boy was practically losing his breath at how much laughter he's producing because Kageyama Tobio knew how to choose the perfect moment to drop something unexpected onto him. Tobio was annoyed by Konoha’s actions and felt the urge to push the other off the bridge.

“ We have a practice match against Shiratorizawa, and I just slipped away,” Konoha says between his giggles.

“ I see.”

Konoha smiles, but Tobio saw the pain behind those golden eyes and felt like crying. Because Konoha must be in so much pain, just like him, yet he smiles and acts calm. And curiosity was driving him crazy because Tobio ponders on why Konoha would end his life? Was he neglected like him? Or maybe he was bullied?

“Um, Konoha-san, if it's alright with you, can I ask why you're up here?”

The blond stares out on the horizon, eyes blank and void of emotion when Tobio asks his question. It made the younger one panic, but Konoha faces him again with a gentle smile, “ my parents aren't good people, and to them, I was a failure. So with the stupidest reasons, they would hit me, beat me until I go unconscious. My two best friends are the only ones who know, and both try their best for me. But I can't handle it.”

Tobio gasps once Konoha finishes his story before sensing tears pooling at the corners of his eyes, “ compare to your life, I feel like mine is childish.”

“ Kageyama-kun, no trauma is childish, and your pain isn't insufficient to mine.” Konoha pats the boy on the back.

“ Thank you.”

____________________________________________

“ Why can't we find him!” Akaashi winces at the loud volume of Bokuto’s voice. But he couldn't blame the teenager for panicking when Akaashi couldn't keep calm himself.

You see, Fukurodani isn't familiar with the streets of Miyagi. So this so-called game will be challenging for them. Exceptionally when many of them couldn't keep their emotions intact. Sarukui and Komi were taking it the worst, though; both were a crying mess. At the same time, their first-years Omaha and Anohori were desperately trying to calm them down. Washio, Shirofuku and Suzumeda were roaming the streets, calling out for Konoha. Lastly, Coach Yamiji  was on the phone, trying to get in contact with Konoha’s parents, but neither picked up.

Akaashi sighs heavily and tries to open his mouth, wanting to at least calm Bokuto down. But someone else beats him to it, “ Bokuto-San!?”

All Fukurodani members turned their heads and saw familiar faces.

“ Hinata!?” Their captain headed toward the redhead, who had everyone except one from Karasuno behind him.

“ What are you doing here?” Hinata speaks, but Akaashi notices that the small boy wasn’t jittery like he usually is. And it seems that Bokuto caught on to it as well, “ We are here for a practice match, but are you okay?”

At Bokuto's question, Hinata's face deflated, tears ran down his cheeks, and he started sobbing. Sugawara was quick to help calm the small boy down. But he, too, seems worried about something.

And everyone at Fukurodani looked at each other confusingly. Coach Yamiji was the one who had enough and quickly went to Karasuno’s adults Ukai and Takeda-Sensei. 

“ What is happening here?” Fukurodani’s Coach asks.

Akaashi notices the grim expressions of the adults and couldn't help but be anxious. He wanted to know what's happening and why Karasuno’s starting setter wasn't with them. It was like he went missing, and Karasuno was just like them, trying to find their teammate. Was it like that? Is Kageyama Tobio missing for the same reason Konoha was missing?

He just wanted to solve the mystery, so he speaks up, “ What are you guys doing here? Where's Kageyama-kun? Why are you all panicking?”

Everyone blinks at Akashi's bluntness while Tsukishima was the one who answers his questions, “ we are here because of a game, the king is missing, so we have to find him, and why wouldn't we be panicking when Kageyama is fucking somewhere dangerous.”

Everyone stood quiet after that. Not knowing what to say, but now Akaashi had all the puzzle pieces; he knows that Konoha is with Kageyama, probably. He's still not 100% sure about it, but it's the most likely.

“ Konoha-san is missing too. He repeats something about a game, but we sure that he's in danger.” Omaha mutters loud enough for Karasuno to hear.

“ So? Now what? What are we supposed to do for them?” Nishinoya looks at the teams, face twisted in dread.

Takeda-sensei was the first to step up, putting a hand on Nishinoya’s shoulder, “ We need to find them; I say that we split up in small groups to cover more ground. If any of you spots them, call one of us adults.”

Everyone nods in agreement. Before each teenager started pairing up with each other, Akaashi somehow ended up with Hinata as his partner while Bokuto went with Daichi and Asahi. But Akaashi wasn't complaining and guided the small boy away from the rest. Hinata still had tears pouring down his face, but at least he was more composed since he's finally starting guiding Akaashi through Miyagi. The two call out for their teammates, desperately searching, asking strangers who pass by, and ran under the darkening sky.

“ Excuse me, dears?” Akaashi stops in his tracks and turns to see an older woman. 

Hinata stops right behind him and bows to the lady, “ hello oba-san, is everything alright?”

“ I can’t help but worry, but there are two boys with the same jersey as you, who were at that bridge. I’m worried that you teenagers are fooling around; it’s quite dangerous up there since it will be collapsing soon.”

Akaashi heart dropped. And beside him, Hinata's face paled. 

“ T-Thank you for telling us; we will make sure that they are alright,” Akaashi says with a bow, and the lady nods before moving on. He then turns to Hinata, “ Go call the teams; I'm going to go ahead and try to get them down.” 

Hinata shakes his head, “ No! I want to be there for Kageyama!” 

A sigh escapes Akaashi’s mouth, “ You won't be much help when you are seconds away from a panic attack. Please just gather everyone so we can save them.”

Hinata stays quiet, and Akaashi fears that he’ll refuse to do what was told of him. But when the redhead slowly nods and reaches for his phone, Akaashi sighs in relief before twisting around to head to the bridge. It was nerve-wracking because what if he was too late and Konoha was already dead at the scene. What if he sees the boy jump while the setter did nothing to save him. Or what if he couldn’t reach for Kageyama, what if he couldn’t save him? And with every step Akaashi takes, the anxiety rises within his chest, fear overtaken him, but he continues to move on. Because he at least needs to make sure that they were alive. Akaashi took a deep breath as he reaches the bridge and ignore the cold seething through his clothes, the old creaking wood beneath his feet, the burning anxiety. All that he could think about was Konoha and Kageyama. He needs to save them. 

“ Konoha-san!? Kageyama-kun!? Are you here!?” He calls out but received no answer. 

“ Damn it! Where the fuck are you!”

“ Akaashi.”


End file.
